There is mounting evidence that mindset is the foundation for high performance and resilience.  In particular, there is some great work and research done around ‘Growth Mindset’ (Carol Dweck www.mindsetonline.com), which essentially describes a mindset that is focused on improvement, comfortable with negative feedback, and in fact actively seeks negative feedback to constantly seek improvement.  I have written a number of articles around this concept of ‘Growth Mindset’ and the importance of both negative emotions and negative feedback in reaching success.  However, through my work, I can’t help but consider that there is a higher-level mindset that super-cedes all mindsets.  I call this the ‘Choice Mindset’.

The “Choice Mindset” empowers a person to choose their life and to create the life they want.  The “Choice Mindset” eliminates excuses.  The “Choice Mindset” generates success and improvement.  The “Choice Mindset” enables the higher road and lifts us to display integrity and authenticity.

We Always Have a Choice

How many times have you heard: “But, I don’t have a choice”?  I have heard this statement over and over again in my work with individuals, leaders, parents and teams.  It is the classic excuse or rationalisation for not taking responsibility.  It is an easy way to remove or evade the guilt or negative emotion. 

In reality, we always have a choice!!

However, ultimately, as adults, there is a decision at the source of every event in our lives.  As children, there is an increasing neurological capacity to make decisions, and even at the early age of two years we are already making decisions. Without a doubt, below the age of 18, legally we are unable to make certain decisions, and we are essentially under the decision-making authority of our parent or significant other.  But, once we turn eighteen, we are not only legally accountable for every decision we make, but emotionally and cognitively accountable for every decision.

What is “Choice Mindset”?

A ‘Choice Mindset’ is essentially a belief system that everything that happens in our life is a function of our decisions.  The ‘Choice Mindset’ understands that we make thousands of decisions every day, and that every decision has a consequence.  With the awareness of the impact of every decision, we then become more aware of each decision, and consider more carefully the options of each choice.

Furthermore, a ‘Choice Mindset’ also takes full responsibility for choices and decisions.  Rather than blaming others, the person with a ‘Choice Mindset’ understands that any negative event in their life is in fact a function of their choice at some point in time.

The “Choice Mindset” empowers a person to choose their life and to create the life they want.  The “Choice Mindset” eliminates excuses.  The “Choice Mindset” generates success and improvement.  The “Choice Mindset” enables the higher road and lifts us to display integrity and authenticity.

The “Choice Mindset” is a challenging and difficult path, but also enlightening and energy generating.

How Does One Develop a “Choice Mindset”?

Reflection

The development of the “Choice Mindset” starts with honest and authentic reflection.  Start with these questions:

• Think about a situation that made you feel angry and upset. Then consider and write down what you think caused this situation.
• Once you have written these down, consider what choices you made that contributed to the situation? Write these choices that you made down on paper.
• Review the choices you have written down, and consider that if you had made a different choice, could you have avoided the situation. If not, then work back further.

Ultimately, you will discover that there was a choice that you made, and that if you had made a different choice the situation may have turned out differently.

 

“There is nothing like the pain of a bad decision to reinforce the importance of a better decision.”

Greg Bayne 2017

Challenge Your Belief

At the heart of mindset is our belief systems.  To obtain a “Choice Mindset” we have to believe that ‘We always have a choice’.  Reflect on your belief about decisions, and write this down.  If your belief is different, then seek out evidence to support the belief that ‘you didn’t have a choice’.  In my experience, when we genuinely examine the evidence, we discover that there is insufficient evidence to support the negative belief, but instead clear evidence that our choices in life define everything.

“I believe we always have a choice, in everything”

Develop a ‘Choice’ Awareness

Become acutely aware of every decision and choice that you make, from the basic things like which parking spot do I take, how fast do I go, who do I say hello to at the school, which email to send first, to the more serious decisions like which bill to pay, how to react to my child when they did the wrong thing etc.?  The more we become aware of the number of decisions we make every day, and the more consciously we consider the options, the more likely we are to develop the “Choice Mindset”.

How to Develop a “Choice Mindset” in Your Children

There are two critical components to developing a “Choice Mindset” in your children.  The first is to start using the word ‘choice’ in your discussions with your child.  Always offer two or more options, and then ask your child to make a choice. This works particularly well when they are misbehaving.  You briefly outline the consequences of stopping the bad behaviour versus continuing the bad behaviour, and then ask them to take a minute to consider the their choice, and then make a decision.

The second, and most important, hold your child to account to the decision they made.  Holding the child to account assists the child to learn that choices have consequences and that they will feel the consequences of the decision.  There is nothing like the pain of a bad decision to reinforce the importance of a better decision.

Your Choice

In the light of the discussion above, you now have a “Choice”.  You will consider the above and make one of the following choices:

1. Conclude that it is a load of nonsense and waste of time, and choose to do nothing different in your life in terms of your mindset. Or,
2. Reflect on the article, and you may even ‘like’ the article, but choose to do nothing different in your life in relation to your mindset. Or,
3. Reflect on the article and consider that you need to start becoming more aware of your choices, and in particular when you have a bad day or things go wrong, and further develop your “Choice Mindset”.

I trust that this article as prompted you to consider how much of a “Choice Mindset” you practice each day.  I encourage you to reflect on how you respond to events and situations around you, and whether or not you take responsibility for your choice.  If you have children, then consider how you might go about cultivating a “Choice Mindset” in your children.

There is no doubt in my mind, that the most resilient, satisfied and people with the greatest mental well-being live and breathe a “Choice Mindset”.  Test it out for yourself.

 

Greg Bayne - 2017

 

Gregory Bayne is one of the Directors of Total Leader and Coach Solutions Australia.  Greg is a leading Psychologist and Management Consultant who cultivates significant shifts in the way leaders impact on their teams and organisations. Greg has a particular focus on assisting leaders to create a culture or accountability, resilience and high performance. His expertise and knowledge is around building and developing a culture of accountability and resilience, leading high performing teams, and getting the most out of people to deliver the highest standards of work. We cultivate sustainable behavioural change in individuals, teams and organisations to drive a performance culture.

EQUIP | ENGAGE | EMPOWER | PERFORM

greg@tlcsolutions.com.au

www.tlcsolutions.com.au